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There’s nothing new about #GoogleGlasses

26/04/2013

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Jack Duckworth invented them in the 1980’s. Here he is checking out Bet Lynch’s photo album.

5 Awesome Takeaways from #SMWF

19/03/2013

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You’ll be hard pressed to find better.

#Pope decision led by God? You decide #Papal or #Paypal

14/03/2013
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Google “Papal” and see what you get in paid search. A great coup to break into a new market, but is this taking celebrity sponsorship too far? 

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Hairy Bikers confirm no #Horsemeat in their products. #TooExpensive!

09/02/2013

Thank goodness for that!! Live on the telly box last night, one of the Hairy Bikers (the less hairy, but slightly uglier one) confirmed there was no horse meat in their products. Fantastic news. The reason, as you will see in the video, is the expense. So just imagine how widespread this thing could be if horse meat was cheap!! It’s just not worth thinking about. Thank goodness horses are posher than cows.

Coming Soon: Shakin’ Stevens arrives in the #social space.

08/02/2013

It was only a matter of time….and there’s still time to pass, but the wait will be worth it. Finally, after much persuasion and a bit of bullying Shakin’ Stevens arrives in social media.

He will answer such questions as:

  • What is behind that green door?
  • How did Julie feel about Marie Marie?
  • Why does he think his dance is cool?

For starters, here’s a song Shaky wrote about his time as a transvestite painter and decorator. Lipstick, powder and paint.

 

#CNN & @Mashable: #Bloomberg jealousy leads to acquisition #SocialMedia #PotatoHead

15/03/2012

So Peter “Mr PotatoHead” Cashmore did it!! Congratulations!! Mashed Potato is finally on the menu at CNN….but it was written in the stars ever since he was interviewed live, while doing a poo on the loo. (Video below if you don’t believe us….turn your speakers up to hear the plop).

The lovely Margaret Brennan of Bloomberg fell in love with Pete during the interview, but wasn’t that impressed with his “bubbling up” and fell out of love just as quickly. So….in the words of Spandau Ballet, to cut a long story short Pete decided to sell out to CNN and make Maggie regret her fickle emotional decision making. 

Both Pete and Margaret were unavailble for comment, but a spokesperson for Mashed Potato did reveal Pete still has very regular movements.

Time to shove #SocialMedia where the sun doesn’t shine.

03/02/2012

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When the locals at the Dog & Duck start making fun of my “guru” status over a pint of Parson’s Plums, and Dolly the barmaid is posting flirty pics on Facebook, whilst DM’ing Ashley Cole to see if she can get a picture of his todger, it means “Social Media” is dead. 

In fact, social media has put an end to all that fun we used to have; getting a flat “no” or “you must be joking” or even a slap in the face when being refused a slow dance in the erection section at 1:45am in the disco. That last chance saloon no longer exists, because people are too busy virtually poking each other. [Positive: Disease Free]. “Social Media” is now a way of life and I pity all those young people who have not been able to strike up a conversation face to face, or even had the inter-personal skills to say “hello” to the person next to them.

This Preposterous post will go out on Twitface, you can share it on LockedIn with all the job hunters, even on Giggle Piss with all the spotty SEO types, who eat too much greasy food. People may continue to check out each other’s fourskin, or take pictures of their grandma’s (Posessive or plural? You decide).

As for me, the only Pintrest I’m now interested in is the bar, and I don’t need five spotty youth’s playing me music, I’ll put my hard earned cash into the jukebox thank you….and I’ll play as much Barry Manilow as I like!! The only Mashed Potato I’ll be consuming is the good old English wholesome food, stuffed with bangers; not some crazy blog “written” by a handsome skinhead who takes a dump on live TV

I’m going start talking to people again, getting in touch with the real community around me, and who knows….one day I may get myself a girlfriend. 

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