The Secret of Getting Your App Featured in the iTunes Store
So how the hell do you get it featured as a “What’s Hot” or “Staff Favourite”? Both of which usually lead to the app reaching the top download charts. It has been said, that sleeping with the relevant Apple staff may help, but I wouldn’t touch Steve Jobs with yours, let alone mine. However, having carried out some extensive undercover research I think I have the answer….which was staring us all in the face to start with. Now, I’m not Dan Brown (if I was I wouldn’t be writing this bollocks) but symbology plays a key part in understanding what is required. Also phraseology which is on the level, straight and true, and being square with people helps. As does rolling up a trouser leg, bearing your breast (ooh matron) and having a limp tickley handshake. The app submission process is intense and purposely akin to the third degree….are you still with me?
Here’s the proof:
It’s not just the image similarity, the angle of the compass is exactly the same. I appreciate that writing this post may bring the wrath of the Freemasons and Apple down on me….so please do not tell anyone about this post.
As you’d expect, His Worshipful Master, Steve Jobs was unavailable for comment, as were any other Brethren from the Apple Lodge. You think I’m kidding, right?