Time to shove #SocialMedia where the sun doesn’t shine.
When the locals at the Dog & Duck start making fun of my “guru” status over a pint of Parson’s Plums, and Dolly the barmaid is posting flirty pics on Facebook, whilst DM’ing Ashley Cole to see if she can get a picture of his todger, it means “Social Media” is dead.
In fact, social media has put an end to all that fun we used to have; getting a flat “no” or “you must be joking” or even a slap in the face when being refused a slow dance in the erection section at 1:45am in the disco. That last chance saloon no longer exists, because people are too busy virtually poking each other. [Positive: Disease Free]. “Social Media” is now a way of life and I pity all those young people who have not been able to strike up a conversation face to face, or even had the inter-personal skills to say “hello” to the person next to them.
This Preposterous post will go out on Twitface, you can share it on LockedIn with all the job hunters, even on Giggle Piss with all the spotty SEO types, who eat too much greasy food. People may continue to check out each other’s fourskin, or take pictures of their grandma’s (Posessive or plural? You decide).
As for me, the only Pintrest I’m now interested in is the bar, and I don’t need five spotty youth’s playing me music, I’ll put my hard earned cash into the jukebox thank you….and I’ll play as much Barry Manilow as I like!! The only Mashed Potato I’ll be consuming is the good old English wholesome food, stuffed with bangers; not some crazy blog “written” by a handsome skinhead who takes a dump on live TV.
I’m going start talking to people again, getting in touch with the real community around me, and who knows….one day I may get myself a girlfriend.