There’s nothing new about #GoogleGlasses
Jack Duckworth invented them in the 1980’s. Here he is checking out Bet Lynch’s photo album.
5 Awesome Takeaways from #SMWF
You’ll be hard pressed to find better.
Google “Papal” and see what you get in paid search. A great coup to break into a new market, but is this taking celebrity sponsorship too far?
Thank goodness for that!! Live on the telly box last night, one of the Hairy Bikers (the less hairy, but slightly uglier one) confirmed there was no horse meat in their products. Fantastic news. The reason, as you will see in the video, is the expense. So just imagine how widespread this thing could be if horse meat was cheap!! It’s just not worth thinking about. Thank goodness horses are posher than cows.
It was only a matter of time….and there’s still time to pass, but the wait will be worth it. Finally, after much persuasion and a bit of bullying Shakin’ Stevens arrives in social media.
He will answer such questions as:
- What is behind that green door?
- How did Julie feel about Marie Marie?
- Why does he think his dance is cool?
For starters, here’s a song Shaky wrote about his time as a transvestite painter and decorator. Lipstick, powder and paint.
So Peter “Mr PotatoHead” Cashmore did it!! Congratulations!! Mashed Potato is finally on the menu at CNN….but it was written in the stars ever since he was interviewed live, while doing a poo on the loo. (Video below if you don’t believe us….turn your speakers up to hear the plop).
The lovely Margaret Brennan of Bloomberg fell in love with Pete during the interview, but wasn’t that impressed with his “bubbling up” and fell out of love just as quickly. So….in the words of Spandau Ballet, to cut a long story short Pete decided to sell out to CNN and make Maggie regret her fickle emotional decision making.
Both Pete and Margaret were unavailble for comment, but a spokesperson for Mashed Potato did reveal Pete still has very regular movements.
When the locals at the Dog & Duck start making fun of my “guru” status over a pint of Parson’s Plums, and Dolly the barmaid is posting flirty pics on Facebook, whilst DM’ing Ashley Cole to see if she can get a picture of his todger, it means “Social Media” is dead.
In fact, social media has put an end to all that fun we used to have; getting a flat “no” or “you must be joking” or even a slap in the face when being refused a slow dance in the erection section at 1:45am in the disco. That last chance saloon no longer exists, because people are too busy virtually poking each other. [Positive: Disease Free]. “Social Media” is now a way of life and I pity all those young people who have not been able to strike up a conversation face to face, or even had the inter-personal skills to say “hello” to the person next to them.
This Preposterous post will go out on Twitface, you can share it on LockedIn with all the job hunters, even on Giggle Piss with all the spotty SEO types, who eat too much greasy food. People may continue to check out each other’s fourskin, or take pictures of their grandma’s (Posessive or plural? You decide).
As for me, the only Pintrest I’m now interested in is the bar, and I don’t need five spotty youth’s playing me music, I’ll put my hard earned cash into the jukebox thank you….and I’ll play as much Barry Manilow as I like!! The only Mashed Potato I’ll be consuming is the good old English wholesome food, stuffed with bangers; not some crazy blog “written” by a handsome skinhead who takes a dump on live TV.
I’m going start talking to people again, getting in touch with the real community around me, and who knows….one day I may get myself a girlfriend.
If only we had #SocialMedia in the 1970’s…
If, like me, you grew up in the 1970’s, you will be mentally scarred. Having to wash behind your ears with carbolic soap, have a crap haircut, wear national health spec’s, watch enviously as the other boys rode around on their Choppers and having to wear trousers with so many buttons on, you used to wet yourself. How times haven’t changed.
There was no International Network of computers [info: now called the “Internet”] it was typewriters, memo’s and postcards. If you were posh, you had a phone, with a number like “Macclesfield 284” and could use it to call other posh people and say things like “I’m speaking to you on my telephone”.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t posh, but I did have a second hand telly (I say “I” but it was from Radio Rentals and “uncle” Jimmy paid for it). I used to escape to a different world, and through the magic of YouTube, I can now escape once more.
Below is a selection of programmes I used to watch and it just goes to show how open minded we were way back then. If we had Twitter, we’d no doubt be discussing how great these shows were…or other such things.
And this always made me laugh…how funny it was. I grew up in a working men’s club. Ironic name that.
What is the cat doing? And mummy was “talking” to the milkman.
And finally there was Pan’s People. I never found out who Pan was, but I can remember wanting, so very much, to meet his people.
Happy times.
And just for Gary [comment below] here is an epic performance from Paul “Hi de Hi” Shane on Pebble Mill at One. There is just so much about this performance that is right….too much to comment on. Just sit back and watch in awe. This is what telly should be about.
When Margaret Brennan of Bloomberg interviewed Pete Cashmore, of Mashed Potato, on the toilet, it was love at first. This video shows the chemistry and fireworks…but also how the chemistry turned into a bit of a smelly experiment.
Twankers - We All Know a Twanker! 